Anybody There
by bmak08
Summary: Castiel doesn't know how to deal with being human anymore...


**A/N:** Just a little request from two of my dearest friends. A little angst with a little fluff! Hope you enjoy and feedback would be LOVED! :)

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><p><strong>Anybody There<strong>

"Cas, don't be a dick and just get in the car."

Castiel huffed angrily, opening the back door and pulling out his own duffle bag, hitching it on his shoulder, shutting the door and walked away. Dean looked across to Sam who shrugged, not knowing what the hell to do or how to solve the problem that had arisen from nowhere it seemed. Dean rolled his eyes, grumbling something under his breath because it was down to him to sort this out. Castiel was his ex-angel after all.

"Cas? Cas!"

Dean slammed his door shut and ran after him, calling out his name. He put a hand on his shoulder to stop him but Castiel shrugged it off, turning around, glaring at him.

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean stared at him incredulously. He'd never seen Cas look like _this_ at him.

"Dean, just stay away and leave me alone. I don't need your pity or your worry."

"I'm not pitying you," Dean sighed, his hand reaching out for him. "Come on dude, let us help you."

Castiel took a step back, dodging his hand, "I do not require your help, Dean. I just want to live without this feeling of uselessness."

"You're not useless to us, Cas."

Castiel laughed wrly, dryly, eerily reminiscent of that future Castiel which unnerved Dean more than he though it ever would. "I'm not useless? So why is it that you are always treating me like I'm a child when we're on a hunt? Or you leave me out-"

"We just don't want you to get hurt."

"Hurt? You are talking about hurt...one of the reasons I fell was to experience these things. But this kind of hurt...this emotion, was not something I was expecting."

Dean rubbed a hand over his face, licking his lips he took a step closer, holding a hand out in surrender, "Cas, man...just come with us and I will make sure that you aren't left out of anything. You're one of us-"

"No," the ex-angel shook his head. "Just stop...I do not want you to have to force this relationship or kinship or whatever it is you think we have."

Dean frowned, totally puzzled, "Cas, what-?"

"You believe that you feel something for me because you have an obligation to me and I can't-"

At those words, Dean's anger had no bounds, he felt like the air had been punched out of him, "So now you know how I feel? I thought you'd lost all your angel mojo, Cas?"

Before Castiel could answer, Dean threw his hands up in the air, "You know what? You got your wish. Live your life whatever fucking way you want, you haven't got us to hold you down anymore, happy?" Dean gave Castiel one last look, he turned on his heels and stalked back towards the car, he was sure he heard Cas call his name but he pretended not to hear. Shutting the door and turning on the engine, he drove in the other direction away from him. He dared himself to not look in the rear view mirror but he couldn't help it, Castiel was walking away determinedly and it hurt like a bitch, but he wasn't going to admit it. The drive was long and silent, Sam knew not to say anything even if he wanted to, he would be in for a verbal smack down if he did. Dean drove as far and as late as he could until sleep beckoned him. They found a motel and picked up some snacks which substituted for dinner late that night.

When Dean came out of the bathroom, changed into something more comfortable, Sam attempted to talk to him, "Dean, I think you should-"

"Sammy, I don't want to talk about it."

"But Dean-"

"No!" he shouted angrily before taking a breath to calm himself. "Just no," he whispered dejectedly. Dean slid into the bed, shucking the scratchy covers over himself trying to sleep. Sam realised that Dean hadn't had anything to eat.

Sam rolled his eyes and sat down on his bed, sighing. He didn't know what else to do.

Eight days...it had been eight days since they'd last heard from Cas and Dean was going out of his mind. He wasn't going to admit it though. His mind hadn't been on the current hunt, he hadn't slept or eaten properly in days. A day earlier he hadn't even asked for pie, and that's when Sam knew...Dean was pining, he missed Castiel. But being the stubborn asshole he was, he wasn't going to make that call. Sam was only going to put up with it for a little while longer before he called Cas himself to sort out the problem. He didn't know what had happened the night before he'd left but obviously something had been building up inside of Castiel which erupted and overflowed like a dam that had burst its banks.

Sitting in a roadside diner a week and two days later (no Dean was most definitely not counting the hours or the minutes) he finally got that call he thought he didn't ever want.

"Dean," was all he heard, that rough deep voice that still sent a tingling sensation down his spine, angel or not. "Dean, I-"

"Where are you, Cas?"

Luckily Castiel wasn't so far away. He'd holed up in the same motel for the past couple of days and had managed to hitchhike only so far. Dean drove non-stop to their destination and once they'd reached the run down motel, Sam opted to stay in the car letting Dean go and talk to him.

Dean knocked on the door lightly but found that the door was already open and Cas was sitting on the bed, in the dark. His arms were wrapped around his knees and his head was resting on top of them. But he was alive and well, and for the first time in a week and two days, Dean breathed, he finally breathed. He closed the door and cautiously approached the bed, sitting down next to him.

"Cas?"

He didn't answer and so Dean hesitantly reached a hand out and carded his hand through Castiel's hair. "Cas?" he called again and he heard a muffled reply, "I'm sorry."

Dean moved closer, taking Castiel's face in his hands tilting it up. He noticed that his eyes were red rimmed and there were tear tracks on his face. This was something he hadn't expected to see at all.

"You been crying?" he asked, rubbing a thumb over his cheekbones, unable to stop the small smile curl up on his lips.

"No," Cas croaked. Dean laughed softly knowing that Cas couldn't fool him. "I've never known you to cry."

Castiel sighed, his eyes fluttering closed at the feel of Dean's hands holding his face, "I did not know that being a human was this taxing."

"Dude, welcome to our world. It always feels this way."

"Always?"

"Not always, but most of the time...but that doesn't mean that you should give up on the good times just because there are more bad times, you know?"

"That sounds horrible."

"It is," Dean grinned and Cas groaned in frustration, dropping his head back onto his knees. Dean chuckled and shuffled even closer, gripping Castiel's face between his hands again.

"You are so frustrating but you've got me and Sammy and we'll muddle through it, together," Dean said softly.

Castiel took a deep breath, his lip quivering, his eyes filling with tears, "I'm sorry, Dean. I am sorry I am so useless. I am an awful human being and an awful hunter."

"Cas-"

"I am of no use to you in any way. I failed at being an angel and I failed at being a human."

"You're not a failure, Cas."

"I am Dean...I am," a solitary tear fell down his face and he turned his head away. "Why would you even want me with you? Why?" he asked quietly, almost inaudibly.

Dean turned his head around to face him again, wiping away the wetness on his cheek, making sure that Castiel met his eyes, "Because I love you, you son of a bitch, that's why," he said with a smile.

Castiel inhaled shakily, closing his eyes as Dean leaned forward pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, his lips then leading a path down and across his jaw finally finding his lips, letting the kiss say everything it needed to, knowing no other words were needed. Everything was forgiven, everything was forgotten. They finally broke the kiss, both needing some air and Dean rested his forehead against Castiel's, "So, you're going to come back home now?"

Castiel nodded and laughed wetly as Dean lifted Castiel's own t-shirt and wiped his face with it.

"Okay then, let's go home."


End file.
